All I want for Xmas is......

Some can probably guess what the answer is.... Yes selfishly I only want my hair to stop falling out. I don't care if the spots don't grown back.

I've gone into disguise mode and have had my hair shortened in a blunt bob with the largest spots at the back and underneath shaved in a mod undercut.

I had this exact haircut when I hung out with mods and rude boys when I was 16.

So I had a few teary meltdowns this week. As my hair thins in general all over my head, I'm finding it everywhere. My clothes, pillow, bathroom, car and brushes are covered. The not knowing is excruciating. Not knowing if I will lose the lot or not.

I've quit gluten, reduced dairy but sugar is still well and truly in the picture. The more I try to deny the more I crave it. NYE resolution?

Insomnia has paid me a visit this morning as I write this it's 3:30am. It's windy outside and I can't turn my brain off. But as M will be getting up in a little over an hour, I'm going to give sleep another go.

waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa spots galore

I was so will-powered up at the work xmas party yesterday. I ignored the cheese platters and chocolate, strudel and cheesecake. I ignored the bread, bread sticks, dips and feta salad. There was still plenty of GF options and Dairy free things for me to eat and I was full to bursting.

Came home and bought the family pizza while I happily ate a mango and a peach.

Then as Im watching TV I discover several new spots, all at the back of my head. I've been doing (nearly) everything right so why is it getting worse instead of slowing?

Im still 3 weeks away from seeing a naturopath and 6 weeks until my dermatologist appointment. I figure ill have no bloomin hair left by that point!!!!!

Im going to enjoy some funky short hair cuts over summer while I can.
Heres one Im really liking:

Ahhhhhh I am trying to find the positives when all I wanna do is sook! Alopecia is beginning to take over my life :( 

Diagnosis confirmed, time with friends and random snowmen

Yesterday, my blood tests confirmed I have the markers of an autoimmune disease. I have now had blood tests that are more sensitively pinpointing what that might be.

I also purchased some essential oils to mix with a coconut base, to use as a hair tonic/rub
You can find the recipe I used here:
http://www.pinterest.com/pin/384565255655634024/

and other recipes and Alopecia related pins on the board I created to collect what I find on pinterest here:
http://www.pinterest.com/vintagetwists/alopecia-areata/

I very much wanted to spend the day at home after getting the results. Then I started to feel hungry for spinach. Which evolved to Eggs Bennedict with smoked salmon instead of my beloved bacon. I went home from the doctors via the local supermarket and stocked up on ingredients, then via the fruit & veg shop for much fresher fruit and vegies (lots of coloured fruit and greens after watching my new heros ted talk about minding your mitochondria)

I made my man and myself a delicious brunch of GF bread, hollandaise sauce instead of butter (baby steps) smoked salmon, a pile of spinach and rocket greens topped with a poached egg for myself and 3 poached eggs for him. OMG yum.

This kept me going until mid afternoon when I munched on a cacao and hazelnut GF, Lactose free and sugar free fruit bar (Ive started keeping a few in my handbag so Im not tempted to by crappy food when Im out)

I also now have small bags of walnuts, dried cranberries and cacao nibs near my computer desk for munching on between meals.

I think the thing to note here is I am preparing ahead to avoid my known weak points in regards to diet. Replacing fast food and pre-packaged foods with healthy options I have conveniently prepared ahead of time for myself, is a way of avoiding bad choices when I'm short on time.

And just for fun, I messaged my friend out of the blue and asked her what her plans were for the afternoon. We ended up and a beauty salon doing nails and having a lovely time together laughing and regressing to our teenage years (we've known each other since I was 13)

and here is the end result!